I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Alive.
So much puke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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