You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My dick has a subreddit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize