In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
