I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
