you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
