I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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