That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
