how can u be prego again
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
