i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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