Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"

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(815): View more from Illinois

the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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(757): View more from Virginia

everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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(858): View more from California

Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.

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