I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
