I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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