Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
