I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Less talking, more tequila
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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