Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
