Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
