K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
