i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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