so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
