I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize