I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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