is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
