My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
