I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
