Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
