everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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