its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
