So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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