You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
