is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
