I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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