bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
