ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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