I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
