I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
