Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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