he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
