she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
