I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize