Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
