There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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