Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
