Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
