before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
