i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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