thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
