hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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