Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
