Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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