Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
