We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she peed on how many people?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
