It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize