There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
