i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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