ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
