the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
