So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
