4 words: hood of his car
you win again, gameday.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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