1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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