i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
