i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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