So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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