apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
