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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
one might say we're banned from that church
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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