Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
