i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
