Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
