Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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