i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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