The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
