Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
