so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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