i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
