I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
